ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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