I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize