My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
