I just saw a hot homeless man
...so i touched it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Randomize
