if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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