So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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