oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
