you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
