that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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