What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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