Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
