will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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