I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
