I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
