tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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