Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize