Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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