Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
