you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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