i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he thought i was a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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