went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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