just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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