we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
