I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
