There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
