Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
