booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
