at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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