Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
