Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
