you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Soap is not a condiment
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
