I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
