Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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