i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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