You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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