He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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