I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
