I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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