all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
whose parrot is this?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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