I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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