Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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