I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize