He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
