lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
