is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Couch. On fire.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
