at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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