Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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