it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
