Sry I called you an 8
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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