Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
