New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
