I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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