I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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