I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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