This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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