When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
