My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
