She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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